I'm a huge Mel Robbins fan. In a recent episode of her podcast, Dr. James Doty, a neurosurgeon and neuroscientist, shares how self-compassion, visualisation, and a “heart mode” mindset can be transformative. He delves into the neuroscience behind manifestation and how our brains can be reprogrammed to overcome negative self-talk, achieve goals, and embrace a more fulfilling life. As the owner of Positano Lifestyle Boutique, I resonated deeply with this message. I spent years talking to myself in ways I never spoke to anyone else. Regardless of my age, weight, appearance, or achievements, I remained my biggest critic. The sad reality is, I know I'm not the only one. I've met so many incredible women at pop-ups and in our Noordhoek shop who’ve spoken to me about this very thing. The mere thought of getting undressed and trying on swimwear is triggering on many levels. What saddens me is how much joy we have missed out on by giving in to that inner voice. They say, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears,” so perhaps like me, you are ready to embark on the journey toward self-acceptance, learning to be more gentle with yourself, and realising the freedom that comes from letting go of harsh self-judgment.
The benefits of this shift are immense—not just in how we view ourselves, but in how we interact with the world. Choosing to embrace ourselves fully means choosing to live more authentically, more joyfully, and more freely.
If you can’t find the 80 minutes to listen to his incredible wisdom, I've simplified some of his practical steps to help us make the shift. Here are five small but powerful practices to embrace, helping us live the joyful lives we deserve:
- Daily Gratitude Moments: I try to start or end my day by jotting down three things I’m grateful for. It’s amazing how focusing on positivity shifts my perspective.
- Shift to Heart Mode: Life gets stressful. When I feel that tension, a few deep breaths reconnect me with calm and clarity.
- Visualize Your Goals: I’m a huge believer in visualizing our dreams. By imagining the life I want, I find myself aligning with my goals more naturally.
- Self-Compassion First: When negative thoughts creep in, I try to replace them with kindness. I talk to myself as I would a friend. Self-love is a journey, but this shift is freeing.
- Acts of Kindness: The more kindness I show others, the more connected and uplifted I feel. This ripple effect builds joy for us all.
I hope Dr. Doty’s message reminds you, as it reminded me, that living our best life is a choice. We are exactly as we were intended to be – and we need to be in our corner, celebrating ourselves as we are. Here’s to embracing each stage with love and gratitude.
Love
Debbie
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